


The Road Less Travelled

by TinkerBella



Category: The Resident (TV 2018)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 06:12:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15551424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinkerBella/pseuds/TinkerBella
Summary: I love Conrad and whump and angst.  So this is a Conrad Whump/Angst fic, dealing with the aftermath of Lily's death and Lane's arrest.





	The Road Less Travelled

Conrad sat in the small cubicle, staring through the plexi glass as Lane entered from the other side. She looked pale and fragile in the orange prison jumper. A part of Conrad, a very small part, could almost feel sorry for her. It faded quickly, however, when she picked up the phone and greeted him like they were long, lost friends.

 

 

 

"Conrad, it's so good to see you," Lane gushed. "I was hoping you would come, so I could explain."

 

 

 

"Explain what?" Conrad interjected. "How the woman I admired, who was my mentor, could turn into a murderer?"

 

 

 

Lane looked stunned. "How dare you accuse me of such a thing?"

 

 

 

Shaking his head, Conrad had to stifle an almost hysterical laugh. "It's not an accusation, Lane, it's a fact. You killed Lily. You killed her just the same as if you put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. And that's something I can't wrap my head around, no matter how hard I've tried. I can't make sense of it."

 

 

 

"You've never been good at seeing the big picture, Conrad," Lane replied, having regained her composure. She was ready to defend herself as if she had any right to. 

 

 

 

"What does that even mean?" he shot back, a part of him wanting to just get up and walk away, but a bigger part of him was desperate to understand what she had done and why.

 

 

 

A soft smile curved Lane's lips as she leaned in, despite the barrier between them, and eyed Conrad with obvious affection. "I wish you understand how brilliant you really are...how gifted. Conrad, you are going to save so many lives and you're going to do it because you can see things, and feel things and understand things that other doctors, no matter how brilliant they may be, can't. You are the heart and soul of medicine, and we a million more like you, but you are one of a kind. I'm so proud of you, and proud of the part I played in helping you become the man you are - the doctor you are - today."

 

 

 

Conrad felt a throbbing behind his eyes and he wouldn't be the least bit surprised if a full blown migraine kicked in any minute. Once upon a time he would have agreed with her, that she had helped him become the man, and the doctor, that he was today, but that ship had sailed and he found it difficult to be in the same room with her. But he was determined to get answers, so he asked, "What does any of that have to do with what you've done?"

 

 

 

"I see the big picture, Conrad," Lane replied. "Saving the world from Cancer. That's what I was doing. But it's trial and error and human subjects were a necessity. There will always be great sacrifice before great success, you know that."

 

 

 

"Oh my god!" It took everything Conrad had to stay put and confront her. "You played God with people's lives, Lane. Some of the people you treated weren't even sick, but you made them sick and some of them died!" The true horror of what she had done had come out during the past few weeks and everyone at Chastain had been stunned by it.

 

 

 

She looked irritated. "I did what needed to be done to make progress, Conrad. I made the hard choices!"

 

 

 

He rose to his feet, phone clutched in one white-knuckled hand. "Was it a hard choice to kill Lily? And for what? To punish Nic? What is wrong with you?"

 

 

 

"Lily was dying anyway," Lane shrugged, dismissively. "I was trying to help you, Conrad."

 

 

 

"By killing my patient?" He felt sickened by her words, realizing what a mistake it had been to come here. Lily's death would never make sense.

 

 

 

Lane huffed a sigh, practically rolling her eyes at him. She was so detached from reality that she didn't even understand how horrified he was by her. "Nic is wrong for you, Conrad. She'll do nothing but bring you down. You can do better."

 

 

 

Conrad didn't even have a response to that, so he dropped the phone and walked away. Lane was dead to him now, as dead as Lily was.

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

Nic paced at the nurses' station, checking her watch as she waited for Conrad to appear. She knew he'd gone to see Lane and she understood why he felt he had to do it, but she was worried about him. He had been there for her as she worked through her own grief in regards to Lily, but punishing himself by practically letting himself go lame because of his bad ankle had only been the beginning of Conrad's self flagellation. He wasn't sleeping, barely eating, over exercising and working double shifts while still making time for her. As if he had to fill every minute of every day doing something, because if he stopped or slowed down he would lose himself. A part of Nic hoped that talking to Lane would help Conrad make sense of everything, so that he would finally be able to put what happened behind him and move on. They all had to move on.

 

 

 

Devon strode over to Nic, eyes sweeping his surroundings even as he asked, "No sign of Conrad yet?"

 

 

 

"No." Nic sighed and turned to face Devon. "I'm not gonna lie, I'm worried. I can't shake the feeling that Conrad going to see Lane is a big mistake. Nothing she says to him is going to change what happened."

 

 

 

"He's just trying to do what we've all been doing," Devon countered. "Figure out what made her do such a thing." Lane Hunter had been an Idol to him and he still had nightmares about how spectacularly she had come crashing down off her pedestal.

 

 

 

Nic understood that, but at the same time she truly believed that Conrad was hell bent on punishing himself, as if his faith in Lane Hunter was the equivalent of the ultimate betrayal of all of them. In truth, a part of Nic believed that she was the one who had set the ball in motion for everything to fall apart. She was the one who had suspected Lane of wrong doing, although she had never once expected the outcome of those suspicions to be so destructive. 

 

 

 

Pushing those unproductive thoughts aside, Nic glanced at her watch then back to the doorway. "Conrad should have been back right now."

 

 

 

"He is back." It was Mia who spoke as she passed by the nurses' station. 

 

 

 

"You saw him? Where?" Nic was around the desk and confronting her in a heartbeat.

 

 

 

Mia frowned as Nic invaded her personal space, but she pointed over her shoulder. "He's doing rounds in the ER."

 

 

 

Nic felt frustration wash over her. "He's not scheduled for work until tonight." The first half of a double shift she had tried her best to talk him out of. But they were short staffed and Conrad was taking full advantage of that fact.

 

 

 

"I'll go get him," Devon offered. 

 

 

 

"I'll help," Mia stated, mainly because she wanted to see Devon attempt to make Conrad do something he didn't want to do, like stop working.

 

 

 

Nic was about to go with them, but she was still on shift herself and two, room, call bells sounded. "Thanks," she replied, watching them go before heading into the first room to take care of her patients.

 

 

 

Devon and Mia quickly made their way to the ER, but even as they crossed the threshold the ER nurse made an announcement nobody wanted to hear. 

 

 

 

"We've got a bus accident with multiple injuries!" she shouted. "Two buses are involved and I'm being told there are at least thirty incoming, expect about twenty more to follow. Time to step it up, people! I'll triage, everyone pick a station...you know the drill!"

 

 

 

"We can help," Mia offered, striding over to the nurse without hesitation.

 

 

 

She was thrilled to see them. "Jump in anywhere, it's about to go crazy in here." And she was right, for right on cue the first stretcher breeched the doors, followed by two more and more ambulances and police cars pulling up behind them.

 

 

 

Devon was about to head for the nearest stretcher when he caught sight of Conrad running in through the double doors, carrying a young girl, maybe ten or so, in his arms. She was limp and her head, which was cradled against Conrad's shoulder, was bleeding. The man, himself, looked focused and determined, and Devon could almost feel the buzz of his frenetic energy. This was Conrad in pure Doctor mode, caring for his patient, and Devon wasn't about to get in the way of that. So he turned his attention to the stretcher being wheeled towards him and focused on his work.

 

 

 

Three hours later they were still dealing with the injured in the ER, when Nic made her way down to help. She'd wanted to come earlier, but she'd had to finish her shift. It looked like a war zone in the ER, the injured lying on stretchers or slumped in chairs, filling every spare inch of the place.

 

 

 

She checked on the injured as she passed, making sure they were tagged appropriately and not in any distress, even as her gaze swept about the area, searching for Conrad. The minute she heard about the Bus accident, she knew he would be swept up in it, Devon and Mia along with him. From what Nic had heard, Mia was going from one OR to the other, working on patients along with Dr. Bell. Nic just hoped that HODAD wouldn't cause any irreparable harm today.

 

 

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Nic caught sight of a familiar figure. Conrad. She could tell he was exhausted, but he was tireless as he went from one patient to the next, focused only on them even as he shouted for supplies or tests to be run, whatever was needed.

 

 

 

A heartbeat later, Nic lost sight of Conrad, as he drifted off to see another patient and she was pulled in to the chaos herself. 

 

 

 

Another three hours passed, and suddenly the ER fell silent. Well, silent as an Emergency Room could get, but the last patient was attended too and the doctors and nurses finally took a well deserved break.

 

 

 

Devon and Nic leaned against the nurses station, "I think I'm too tired to move," Devon stated.

 

 

 

"You and me both," Nic agreed, her eyes sweeping the area. "Do you see Conrad anywhere?"

 

 

 

"I don't." Devon pushed away from the counter and turned so he could check every corner. "But he has to be here somewhere. We'll find him."

 

 

 

Mia had come up behind them. "He's headed upstairs for his second shift," she stated. "I passed him just a minute ago." She knew Nic would go in search of Conrad and well she should. "He looks terrible."

 

 

 

Nic sighed. "That's it. I'm going to get him and I'm taking him home."

 

 

 

"Good luck with that." Mia wished her well, and Conrad really did need to get out of here and rest, but she knew that the Resident could out stubborn a mule. Smirking, Mia took off, she needed to check on a couple of her patients in post op. She would catch up on the on going drama later.

 

 

 

"Need some help?" Devon offered to Nic, as he fell into step beside her.

 

Nic nodded. "All the help I can get. Conrad is not going to come quietly."

 

Devon shrugged. "We could knock him out."

 

"That's actually plan B," Nic admitted. "I'll try reasoning with him first."

 

"Sure." Devon could hold back a belly laugh, which he didn't apologize for. A side glance at Nic and he wasn't surprised to see that she couldn't hold back a rueful smile at her own words. It wasn't that Conrad was an unreasonable man in general, but when it came to himself - reason seemed to fly out the window.

 

As they stepped onto the fourth floor and made their way to the Nurses' station, Nic caught sight of Conrad stepping out of a patient's room. She knew it was a college kid who had come in with excruciating pain in his leg and two doctors had wanted to amputate. The kid had been on his way to the OR for the surgery when Conrad had figured out what was wrong and had saved the day, per usual. 

 

His Spidey sense must have kicked in because Conrad looked up as Nic and Devon approached him. He did not look pleased to see them, although he forced a grim smile. "Nic...I thought your shift was over."

 

"It is, I was helping in the ER with the bus accident," she replied. "You didn't see me?" That thought worried her a little. Sure they had both been busy, but she had taken note of his whereabouts throughout, even though he had been a bit like a ghost flickering in and out everywhere.

 

"Guess I was distracted." Conrad ran his fingers through his hair, unaware of how his hand trembled. "Um, did you need me for something?" He glanced between Nic and Devon as he asked.

 

Nic steeled herself for the confrontation that was about to come. "I need you to come home with me."

 

Conrad shook his head, wincing as pain throbbed in his temples and he felt a wave of dizziness wash over him. He had to lock his knees to keep standing. "I'm working, you know that."

 

"What we know is that you're burnt out," Devon interjected. "You need to take a break. Go home and get some sleep to start."

 

"I'm fine." The words were out without Conrad having to think about it, but that was the last thing he said because darkness slammed into him like a punch and he didn't even feel himself hitting the floor.

 

Nic was stunned as she watched Conrad go down without warning, his body crumpling like a puppet whose strings had been cut. "Conrad?" She was on her knees beside him in a heartbeat, fingers checking his pulse. "Thready and his skin his clammy."

 

Devon was already reacting. "I need a stretcher!" he shouted, kneeling on Conrad's other side and checking his eyes. He didn't even get a chance to say anything else when the stretcher arrived and one of the male nurses, a big guy who had been an ex-wrestler, scooped Conrad into his arms with ease and laid him gently onto the stretcher. 

 

Then they were on the move, as a unit, wheeling Conrad into an exam room where Devon took over and Nic faded into the background, knowing that he was in good hands. She had enough to deal with in fighting to remain calm as she prayed for Conrad to be okay.

 

* * * 

 

Conrad came to awareness slowly, feeling a ache throughout his body that was irritating but not particularly painful at the moment. He shifted, puzzled by the feel of the mattress beneath him. He wasn't in his bed. That fact made his eyes fly open and the moment he caught sight of the familiar walls of a hospital room, he was able to relax just a bit. That explained the undercurrent of sounds that had been nagging at him, which were something of a lullaby to a Doctor. 

 

He was less comforted by the pinch of the IV needle in the back of his left hand. Conrad wasn't happy to wake up and find himself ensconced in a hospital bed, with no memory of how he got here, but he would deal with one issue at a time. Starting with the IV. He scratched at a corner of the tape and nearly had it peeled off when his hand was smacked, hard, and a melodic voice stated, 

 

"Leave it alone or I'll put you in restraints." Mia had a slight smirk of amusement on her face as she stared down at him.

 

"You can't do that," Conrad countered, almost petulantly, although he did leave the tape alone.

 

Mia shrugged. "Try me." 

 

Conrad sighed, using his IV free hand to scrub over his face. "Why I am I here?"

 

"You really have to ask?" Mia pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down. "You know you've been pushing yourself too hard. You know you don't eat, you don't sleep, you over-exercise and work too many hours on zero fuel. What do you think the result of that is?" She stared at Conrad, clearly waiting for his reply.

 

"Okay, I get it." He sighed again, fingers now fidgeting with the blanket. "I'm a little run down..."

 

Nic entered the room in time to hear his words. "I little run down?" she exclaimed in disbelief. "You've been here for over 24 hours, Conrad! You're body is starting to shut down but we were able to turn it around! Do you get how serious this is?"

 

Before he could reply, Devon, who had entered behind Nic, answered for him. "Serious enough that you're going to be a guest patient here at Chastain for the next 72 hours, maybe longer. Depends on how well you listen to your doctors and do as you're told."

 

"I'm not staying here." About that, Conrad was adamant.

 

"I will put you in restraints," Mia reminded him.

 

Conrad studied her for a moment, realized she was dead serious, and gave in. "I'll stay long enough to rehydrate," he allowed, knowing exactly what his IV's were for.

 

Devon shook his head. "You'll stay until I release you. It's not just about being dehydrated, Conrad. You're suffering from malnutrition and deep exhaustion. When you sleep and eat like a normal person, then I'll release you."

 

"I'll sign myself out AMA," Conrad countered. He was going to win this one so Devon might as well give up now.

 

"Then I'll have Dr. Wilkes in Phychiatric sign off that you are not mentally capable of making decisions for yourself, thereby leaving me, your doctor on record, to make them for you. Meaning, you'll be staying put until I release you."

 

Conrad was about to continue his argument, but a glance at Nic's face and he was gutted. He had been putting her through hell, and she had suffered enough already. Lily's death was taking a toll on all of them and he wasn't helping the situation with his actions. "I'll stay one more day and do whatever I need to do," he offered.

 

Devon remained firm. "Two more days, then we'll see where you're at and go from there. Final offer."

 

"And you will take it," Mia interjected. "Because your other option is the restraints." She stood up and offered Nic the chair. "I'll check in later." With that she breezed out of the room, knowing that Conrad was in good hands. Their hands.

 

"Guess I'm staying for a while," Conrad conceded, at least for the moment. When he felt Nic's fingers thread through his, he squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

 

Nic knew that, however she wasn't ready to let him off the hook just yet. "But you did scare me. You scared all of us, Conrad."

 

He nodded. "I know. I'll do better."

 

"Will you?" she countered, not looking convinced. 

 

"I'll try." It was the best Conrad could offer for now. He glanced over to Devon. "You do know you're not actually my doctor of record."

 

Devon grinned. "Oh, but I am. Dr. Bell signed off on it and everything."

 

Conrad wanted to believe he was kidding, but that was going to have to be a confrontation for another day. He locked eyes with Nic. "Was I really out for over a day?"

 

"Yes, you really were and it was terrifying seeing you be so still." She leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead, partially to let him know she would forgive him, but also as a cheat to see if he still had a fever. She hadn't had a chance to check his vitals, but he felt cooler so she relaxed a bit. "I'm guessing that you pushing yourself straight into a collapse has to do with your visit with Lane?"

 

"Yeah, how did that go?" Devon prompted, taking up residence on the other side of the bed.

 

Conrad wasn't sure what to say, in part because he still couldn't wrap his brain around what Lane had said to him. "She doesn't think she did anything wrong," he finally replied. "She, honestly, believes she was doing something good." Conrad shook his head. "How could I have been so blind? Nic, I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you sooner. Maybe Lily would still be alive."

 

Nic cut him off. "Don't even go there, Conrad. None of us saw this coming."

 

"I sure as hell didn't," Devon stated. "She was my hero and it turns out my hero is a serial killer. I will never get it, but that's on her, not me...not you. What happened to Lily is all on Lane."

 

"You have to let go of your guilt, Conrad," Nic said, firmly. "I have to do the same. We all do. Otherwise Lily's death means nothing when, in truth, it lead to Lane Hunter being put behind bars. She can't hurt anyone else, and that's a good thing."

 

Conrad knew she was right but, "That's easier said than done."

 

Nic smiled. "I know, but baby steps. Get better and get back to doing what you do best. Lily would want that, for all of us."

 

"Fair enough." Conrad would focus on doing what she asked, because he knew it was time to stop wallowing in his grief and get back to doing what mattered most - saving lives. It did help knowing that he wasn't alone. He didn't know when he'd become a part of a rag tag family, but he was grateful for it.

 

"You need to sleep," Devon piped up, catching the yawn that Conrad was trying to stifle.

 

Frowning, Conrad reminded him, "I slept for over a day."

 

Devon rolled his eyes. "You were unconscious for over a day, you know that's not the same thing." He headed for the door, "I'll be back in a few to check on you. Nic, make sure he eats something when he wakes up. Something with a gazillion calories." Devon knew Conrad was particular with his diet, which drove him a bit nuts at times, the man had zero body fat and was basically made up of lean muscle and bones. Devon had decided it was his mission in life to make Conrad Hawkins put on another twenty pounds at least.

 

"Talk about impossible challenges," Nic called after him, laughing. But she was serious when she said to Conrad, "You are going to eat when you wake up from your nap."

 

"Nap?" Conrad snorted. "I love you." He felt the need to say it, to let her know what she meant to him, because he knew he didn't tell her all the things he felt about her. Conrad didn't talk about himself or his past because he didn't want to burden Nic with all the shit in his life. She didn't need to be dragged down by his baggage. But that didn't mean he didn't trust her. Conrad trusted Nic with everything he was. Trusted all of them, really. 

 

He had spent his life travelling down a rocky road, a solo journey that he never waivered from. Maybe now it was time to take a road less travelled, but one he wouldn't have to traverse alone.

 

Nic took his declaration for what it was meant to be, leaning in to kiss him. "Love you too. Now sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." Because by his side was where she belonged.

 

Conrad let his eyes close and he felt at peace in this moment, as he drifted off to sleep.

 

THE END


End file.
